Many claim that dating is fractured due to technology, pandemic isolation, and unrealistic expectations. But, recent research challenges this notion. Studies led by Brian Ogolsky, a professor at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, reveal that young adults’ views on romance have remained largely unchanged over the past decade.
Ogolsky and his team surveyed college students aged 18-29 in 2012 and 2022 to understand their experiences with romantic relationships. The findings, published in Personal Relationships, show that while dating trajectories have evolved, fundamental perspectives on relationships remain consistent.
“College students in our study did not perceive dating as a broken system,” Ogolsky said. “Despite massive cultural shifts, their views on relationships today mirror those of the past decade. Instead, young adults now navigate more diverse pathways to romantic commitment.”
THE FOUR STAGES OF MODERN RELATIONSHIPS
Based on survey responses, researchers identified four key stages in relationship development:
1. Flirtationship: The First Sparks
This stage involves first attraction, whether online or in person. Flirtation and shared interests lay the foundation for potential connections.
2. Testing Relationship Potential
If mutual interest grows, individuals test compatibility through deeper communication and shared experiences. Many students highlighted friendship as a crucial element of dating at this stage.
3. Defining the Relationship
Once partners create a connection, they seek clarity. Labels like “official” become important, and expectations around exclusivity and monogamy emerge.
4. Commitment or Separation
At this stage, couples either deepen their commitment—through marriage, cohabitation, or another long-term arrangement—or decide to part ways.
HOW DATING HAS EVOLVED OVER TIME
Despite technological advancements and the rise of dating apps, students’ core relationship values remain unchanged. Surprisingly, technology played a smaller role in their relationship perceptions than expected.
“When people think about relationships, they focus on emotional and social aspects, not dating apps or AI-driven matchmaking,” Ogolsky explained.
SHIFTING PRIORITIES: MARRIAGE VS. COHABITATION
One of the most significant changes between 2012 and 2022 was the perception of long-term commitment. A decade ago, many students believed engagement naturally followed a committed relationship. In contrast, the 2022 cohort viewed commitment more flexibly, with cohabitation often replacing engagement as a key milestone.
SOCIAL CIRCLES AND ROMANTIC INTEGRATION
Another shift involved how romantic partners are introduced to social circles. In 2012, meeting a partner’s family was a major relationship milestone. By 2022, integrating a partner into broader friend networks became equally significant.
THE HOOKUP CULTURE MISCONCEPTION
Despite common beliefs, hookup culture doesn’t dominate young adult relationships. Only nine students in the 2022 study mentioned casual sex as a key relationship stage. The research suggests that even within committed relationships, the term “hookup” may refer to sexual activity. It might not indicate a lack of commitment.
THE FUTURE OF DATING: STABILITY AMID CHANGE
While the dating landscape evolves, the core elements of relationships remain steady. Young adults continue to prioritize emotional connection, mutual respect, and personal growth in their romantic pursuits.
The study, funded by the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s National Institute of Food and Agriculture, challenges the notion that dating is broken. Instead, it highlights that young adults are simply redefining traditional relationship pathways to better align with modern realities.